I am not a bitter woman,neither am I a jealous one but I need to speak to someone before I loose it. You see,my husband’s best friend was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer three years ago. It was a long and hard battle which put the entire family and friends into so much emotional strain. Eventually,he passed away after four months. That was a very big blow to everyone. He left a very young wife of 28 years old. They have a little girl.
Uju,the wife was truly heartbroken as can imagine. We all felt for her and rallied around her to make her comfortable. My husband in particular was very close to her family so he really felt he should assist Uju as much as he can. He invited Uju and her daughter to spend Christmas with us a year later. I was quite uncomfortable with that but I didnt want to sound insensitive so I kept quiet. But throughout their stay with us,I was very uncomfortable with Uju. She would cook such sumptuous meals that I could never cook. I dont cook cos I dont know how to and my job actually keeps me away long hours so it made sense to hire a cook. But all three weeks that Uju was with us,she was cooking all sorts of delicacies and my husband couldn’t help but sing her praises at any opportunity given.
I was even furious when I see them gisting ,all feely, touchy. Sometimes,Uju will stay up watching movies in bum shorts and my husband will join her cos I am not a movie person. Honestly,I quarreled with my husband twice while she was with us. I told him he was doing too much with her. He accused me of being jealous of an innocent widow who needs our help. I was so glad when she eventually left 3 weeks later. I thought everything has returned to normal for me and my husband until a few months ago.
I discovered that my husband and Uju have become more than friends. I saw that they text each other flirty messages and she actually says she wants him. My husband replied that he wanted her too but that he is married and cannot loose his family. I was livid when I found out. I threw tantrums. I accused my husband of cheating. He said he was just being nice for his late best friends wife,he didnt know when he got too far and that he is actually in love with her. I mean,I stood there and listened to my husband tell me that he is in love with another woman. I felt like I lost him. I cried and cried. He said he found out so many things that he and Uju had in common. He talked about how she takes care of a man with food and care. He said he never experienced that with me. My husband was making comparisons with me and Uju! He said he was sorry,he is not trying to change me but that he was actually falling for how Uju made him feel differently. I couldn’t believe this. I was sad and disappointed in my husband.
When I confronted Uju and she told me sorry that she would never contact my husband again.I felt hurt that the things my husband was liking about Uju I couldn’t do it. I made up my mind to learn how to cook but it was not as good as Uju’s. My work suffered as I tried to make certain changes so I can be more caring for my husband. The only thing is that,I feel like the love and trust between me and my husband is lost.I am trying my best to put all that happened behind me but its hard because,things are not the same with me and my hubby. Even with love making,he seems not to be interested. He would hardly touch me for weeks. When I initiate s*x,he just seems like a routine. I fear that my husband is still in love with Uju
My husband claims he has never spoken to Uju again but I doubt that. Because of the way he has been acting towards me. He keeps saying,he is trying his best. One time I quarreled with him about this and he said,am I not with you? Why are you still trying to push me away? My mom advised me to stop bothering him before I push him into the hands of another woman. So I left him. I tried to be the kind of woman he wanted but he didn’t even see my efforts.
Last week,he dropped a bombshell. He said he wanted a divorce. He said he was no longer in love with me and that he wants to be happy. I later found out that he attended Uju’s daughter’s birthday party last week and they rekindled their affair. I am sick and tired of this whole situation. Before Uju came into the picture,my life was perfect,my marriage was perfect. My husband didn’t complain about anything I couldn’t do. He knew I couldn’t cook before we got married and he said it was fine. He met me with my current job,he knew the demands of my job,he didn’t complain until Uju surfaced. I asked him if it because we don’t have children yet,he said no. That is he perfectly ok even if we don have children. He said he is open to adoption but we agreed to wait a few more years to do that.
I tried to adjust to make him happy,I really tried he seemed not to be interested. So my husband of five years is leaving me. I haven’t told anyone expect my mom and my pastor. They couldn’t do much but advised me to keep praying for my husband. I feel horrible and betrayed but I want to do anything possible to get my man back.
What can I do? What can a woman do when it is clear that her husband does not want her and is in love with another woman?