I have seen the way you have attended to most problems posted on your blog and i must confess you are doing a great job. I write this to you with soo much pain and confusion residing in me. I will really try as much as possible to give a detailed story so u can understand my pain.
I am a young working class lady. I’m 22 and I had my 1st boyfriend @ 18, in my second year at the university. He was just the perfect guy for me; never bothered me for stuff like sex. He understood my stance of abstaining from sex until after marriage. I got to know we were not compatible during my 3rd year in school (we had the same genotype AS) so we had to break-up.
After our break, I got in contact with a family friend of mine who made his intention of marriage known. I explained to him the situation of things and at first, he claimed to be fine with it. One thing led to the other and we had a quarrel where I said some really nasty things to him out of annoyance. He stopped keeping in touch like he used to and that was when I realised i had feelings for him. I tried to apologize and make things right between us, all to no avail. Because of him, I stayed away from relationships for 2years, hoping he would one day come back to me. Early this year, I found out that he seemed to have moved on with someone else. Then, I decided to move on with my life. That was when I met this new guy. He is not the kind of guy I would like – he drinks, keeps late nights and told me of how badly he used to treat ladies in the past. I’m surprised at myself but I like this new guy very much.
Meanwhile, my family friend is back to talking to me and claims he is sorry for all that happened and would like to still get married to me. He said things didn’t work out well between him and the other lady. So right now, I am torn between two worlds – getting married to my family friend or starting a relationship with this new guy.
Is it advisable to go with this new guy knowing all the traits he has and how much I detest them; hoping he will change? Or do I go with my family friend even though I’m not really sure what he wants from me. I don’t want to make a decision I will end up regretting for the rest of my life (not wit all these stories of husbands maltreating their wives and all). Please help me.