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Social Media Is Ruining My Relationship

There’s this issue hunting my relationship and it’s been going on for some time now. I guess I’ve ignored it over time until it became more of a source of conflict between my boyfriend and me.

I have a loving boyfriend who is every bit sweet and charming, watches out for my interest and growth as well. He is also quite doting so much that it’s beginning to suffocate me a little. I know I am pretty much a priority for him and he tells me I occupy most of his thoughts and time.

For me, he is a priority for me as well and I try my best to meet his efforts half way.
The problem here is, my boyfriend seems to think he is the only one giving his best in our relationship. He wants me soaked in this thing called relationship and I’m beginning to feel he forgets that I have other aspects of my life to equally handle.

For instance, our recent disagreement was borne out of the fact that I don’t reply him on WhatsApp as quickly as he would want me to. It became so bad that I get scared when his messages have stayed more than 3minutes without a reply from me (it is not like I deliberately leave them unanswered though).

Dear Davina, I’m a passive user when it comes to WhatsApp and social media. I reply messages at my convenience and do not make it an issue when my messages are not swiftly replied to as well because I understand that everyone has a way of doing things and I can’t predict peoples free time or handle how they respond.

I expect that my boyfriend understands this part of me. We communicate every other time and spend hours talking on the phone as well, but he just does not get enough. One minute we are fine, then the moment his message goes unreplied for few minutes, it becomes an issue. His argument is that I lack commitment and do not put in much effort, making it seem as though I don’t love him or value what we have.

This is not true because I so love this guy and have built my world and future around him but I can’t stay glued to my phone for him all day just to show commitment. This issue is beginning to bother and nag at me. I just simply want him to understand that not being swift to answer his messages doesn’t mean I’m not committed to him, I just want to freely pursue other aspects of my life without being choked up by a relationship. Do you think my stance on this matter is right or am I being insensitive to his needs? I don’t want to lose him.

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