My marriage was a business arrangement but I didn’t particularly bargain for what I got.
My name is Wilson and this is my divorce story. I grew up in Warri, Delta state. My parents were traders. They were not well educated but ensured we all attended secondary school. My brothers did all manner of jobs to make money, while my two sisters got married. I was a street boy. Everything was rough and I was pushed to do shady things for money.
I got into trouble a lot as a teen. I tried to get a university education but dropped out after only two years. I came down to Lagos with friends to seek better opportunities. I was tired of roaming about town in Warri. I was looking for anything that would take me away from the poverty back home. It was tough. I became a tout at the Apapa Wharf. I joined the other guys at the port in their deals.
After about two years of doing this, getting only peanuts, I started nursing the idea of leaving the country. Along with two other friends, we plotted. We needed to come up with the cash and fast! We hustled and hustled but it just wasn’t happening. So I gave up on it. One of my friends came up with the idea of going through the desert. I didn’t like it because I had heard tales of those who never came back alive. Someone suggested I tried hooking up online. That’s what I did.
I met Hilde online. She looked really pretty. She had a nice apartment and she worked as a gym instructor. It didn’t take long before I professed my love for her. She fell too and I told her my predicament. She promised to send me money to apply for a visa. To cut it short, I succeeded in leaving the country.
I was in awe of America. I tried to blend in as much as I could. Hilde and I got married. She helped me get small jobs here and there. I then enrolled in a school to learn about computer graphics. I was at it for a year. I focused so well because I didn’t want to mess up the opportunity.
I changed from the Warri ruffian to a more put together young man. After about a year I began to think about having a child. I discussed with Hilde but she bluntly said she had no desire for children. I was sad and I wondered what to do. It was not like Warri where I could marry another wife easily or even impregnate a girl outside. I began to get worked up. Hilde didn’t care about my feelings I guess because she felt she was doing me a favour.
The Journey To My Divorce
Then the day came when I found out the shocking truth. I had gone out to work but I left my identity card at home. I had to drive almost 45minites back home. As I climbed up the stairs to my apartment, I could hear heated arguments coming from the house. Hilde was not working that day. I wondered who was with her. I was about to call out to her when I heard these words ‘…did you tell him that you were born male Hilde?’ I paused, what did I just hear? I barged in.
Hilde was born a man but made the transition to a woman in her early twenties. I began to understand why she didn’t want children; it was simply because she couldn’t have any. I filed for a divorce based on irreconcilable differences and fraudulent misrepresentation. It was depressing. I almost committed suicide because of what happened. I later moved out of that state to start life afresh.
It took me about two years before I began to date again. I currently am not married but have a set of twins by another lady. Hilde has since remarried. I stopped communicating with her/him after the divorce.