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10 cogent qualities to instill in your little children.

1. Confidence:

You are on a shopping spree with your son in shoprite but you think you should protect him by speaking to the cashier for him? That’s very wrong by all standards. When he wants anything, tell him how to go by it:

Hello, may I get a bar of chocolate please?

Teach him, there is no age requirement to being able to standup for oneself. How long can you protect them? You don’t even know how soon you gonna leave them. No one is wishing another death here, be a realist for once!

2. Courtesy:

For every little act of help/kindness, let your child know ‘thank you’ doesn’t cost a thing. Your daughter just bought a bar of chocolate, it doesn’t matter if you spent your money to buy it, teach her to say a ‘thank you’, it is free to say, but will earn you invaluable respect from onlookers!

3. Sex education:

Are you still telling your boy that new borns are delivered via the anus? Continue, ok?

How about he learns the truth from a spoilt girl/aunty?

He is brave enough to ask you what condom means and you are yelling ‘shut up’ at him, don’t forget the internet is at his disposal. He will never trust you enough to discuss sensitive information with you, he’d rather turn to strangers outside. Result is you’ve lost your son, not literally though.

Still on the matter, if your daughter sees her first period and she gets scared crying, you are a special failure, not the ‘F’ type you see in the university though.

4. How to use the PC:

Your child tried using your PC, you caught him but to yell and rebuke him? Really? Which decade do you think you are, or you still think they carry slates and chalk to school?

‘Oh he is gonna spoil my laptop, things are expensive under buhari’

Oh my, you had let him get familiar with computer right from childhood. In Nigeria, the next few years may mean no lecturer will waste his time writing long pages on the board, it’s gonna be a central system of learning, students will have to download notes and assignments. Don’t be your child’s undoing. Let him use that PC or buy him one, just deal with parental control and you are good. Remember cafes still exist, the porn you fear in your home, the cafes are willing to dish!

5. Politics:

Can you recite state and capital? Do you still think akwaibomites are Igbo people? Probs you still think Nasarawa people are Hausa people? Some have never heard there is a region called middlebelt! If you don’t want your children in same shoe you are, you had better expose them now! Let them stand away from the crowd. There is nothing as impressive as when a boy/girl of ten years discusses educative politics outside.

6. How to properly bathe:

Listen, whatever you teach him/her on bathing is what he/she is gonna stick to for the rest of his/her life. If you teach him to be 60% clean, he/she may never pass that level of cleanliness as an adult.

Teach them as young as possible, don’t let any aunty, uncle or cousin bathe them when on vacation/holidays. It will save them, trust me!

7. Sharing:

Teach them to understand everything in life is privilege, and that nothing beats the happiness you feel in sharing. Selfless values are invaluable.

Trust me, the world hates selfish folks and akagums!

8. Pray

Teach them how to pray, tell them to lead family prayers in mornings and in the night.

9. Punctuality

Teach them the importance of this. It will save them as adults. Punctuality is a value that can be mastered over decades, help them by teaching them early!

10. Truth:

It breaks my heart to realize 90% of Nigerian parents will beat their wards for saying the truth. He broke the mirror, told you and the next thing is give him 3 dirty slaps; you are not helping the child neither are you your child.

Let them realize punishment is reduced for saying the truth, but extreme when hidden. It will help them as adults, even beyond the shores of Africa!

This is an addition, please whatever superstitious beliefs you grew up with, never share with your kids. Like seriously?

‘If they eat while standing up, the food will settle down on their legs’.

Children are inquisitive, one day she tries it and realizes you are a big fat liar!

BTW, such superstitions will only render them dull, imagine sharing such shyte in a biology class which already told them food moves through our intestines?

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