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He Is In No Hurry To Actualise Our Wedding



Posted first on Dear Davina

Dear Davina,
I read your stories and feed backs every now and then and I must commend you for your diligence and wisdom. Which is why I have the confidence to write you today.
I am engaged to my boyfriend of over 5 years, university sweethearts. I am 25 years old and he is 30. We had a basic introduction in December 2017 and since then have found it hard to work towards a date.

He is a lieutenant in the army and giving the nature of the job, is quite unstable. He has been deployed to two different places already in this year, the first coming barely a week after our introduction.
Quite frankly, I have been apprehensive about the whole wedding arrangements working out this year or not. He is rather nonchalant about issues like this that I consider highly important.

I understand that he has financial responsibilities that take all of his pay, yet I expect him to make a wedding happen. Am I asking too much? Am I being insensitive?
Only recently, it dawned on me that we could keep going like this till the end of this year and probably the next. He claims he wants what I want too, but that reassurance only comes when I express my concerns.
Another disturbing issue is the fact that his mother has no idea how preparations towards the wedding are going. He never offers her information and she never asks. He claims that she has no problems with me and would in fact love to see us get married, he can tell by her actions.

She’s never actually said anything like that. His parents never got married and he’s an only child. His dad is late also. Which is why I think his mother ought to be in the fore front of his wedding arrangements/preparations, except she has some unspoken reservations.
I finally told him yesterday to make it happen before the end of the year or it might not be us anymore.
It’s more about the fact that I could be wasting my time only to never have a wedding, which would mean leaving the relationship.

Am I really being too demanding or just finally placing a value on myself as per my relationship?
I would appreciate a feedback from you soon. Thank you for your time and God bless you.

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