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How My Ex Appeared From Nowhere To Destroy My Marriage Plans


by Silentbeads

My relationship with Eben ended very badly. I mean so bad that we had to throw verbal punches at each other. This is how we got to that point…

At some point I wanted to leave him. I saw no point in dating him because he had no plans for our future. He was in it for being in it sake but I wanted more. I wanted a man I could build my future with.

I tried on three different occasion to leave and on three different occasion, he came begging and making lofty promises for our future. Not that I believed him, I only gave him the benefit of the doubt but immediately we got back together, he went back to default mode.

And then a man came in between us. He was rich and was giving me a lot of attention. He was married and had kids. I didn’t intend to date him but I enjoyed the attention and care he was giving me. Eben got insecure. He took the man’s number from my phone and started threatening him with text messages.

That was when I decided enough was enough. As usual, he came begging. He sent friends over to beg me but this time around, I wasn’t going to change my mind. Things turned sour and he started spreading the news that I was leaving him because of money.

He stopped begging and started threatening me and later started insulting me anytime we met. I had to defend myself and things got messy.

Eventually, we both moved on and lost touch.

Three years after we broke up, I met a man, Albert. A gentleman who had recently  returned from abroad. We became friends and some months later he proposed and I accepted. He had plans for us—every details of our relationship was mapped out to the last detail. We planned when to get married and when to start making babies.

Life was good again.

In December that year, we decided to pay his family a visit where they lived. It was a big step for me knowing I was going to meet my future in-laws. It was all good the day we got there.

We spent three days there and met all his family members and got introduced as the wife to be. They took me in and treated me as a member of the family. And then my worse nightmare happened.

Just when we were about to leave, Albert had a call from a relative who told him that he was passing through briefly to see him. Albert started telling me the story of this relative; “We grew up together and attended school together until I left the country after secondary school. He’s my aunty’s son and my favorite cousin.”

I couldn’t wait to see him too but guess what, this cousin of Albert is no other person than Eben. You remember him? Yeah, my ex from the beginning of the story. He was shocked to see me but I got traumatized. I knew what it meant if he was indeed the cousin of Albert.

Eben pretended he didn’t know me and I acted I didn’t know him too. We left the town but my mind wasn’t stable. I started doing the maths. The worse possible outcome was separation with Albert.

Two days later, Eben called and started throwing his weight around; “What goes around comes around. You see that you are in my web now?” He threatened brimstone and fire. He said he was going to ensure nothing comes of the relationship. All I said was “Do your worst,” and then I hang up.

The next day, I told Albert the truth. Then he asked; “What was the extent of the relationship? Was it that serious?” I only nodded. Then he said, “You know we can’t be together if you dated my cousin, right? He’s my blood. You want him to go around telling people that I married his second-hand woman?”

“Second-hand woman.” That really got to me but I didn’t let it show. I stood there and watched him as he gave me thousand and one reasons he couldn’t end up with me. I only nodded through it all and when he was done talking, I left his presence.

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He never called but Eben kept calling me which I never picked. He wasn’t done with me yet , I guessed and wanted to insult me more.

I didn’t hear or see Albert again until I learned through a friend that he had left the country. It hurt me so deeply but I kept up appearance. Maybe the whole thing was life’s way of pulling a fast one on me. Slowly I healed.

I Cheated On My Husband and Now I’m at Peace

Then three or four months later, I had a call. It was Albert. He wanted to know how I was doing and also wanted to apologize for how he handled the issues. He said he had had a lot of thoughts about it and done extensive consultations and everyone said he should continue with me if he loved me so he was thinking we should get back together.

I breathed heavily and thanked him for his thoughtfulness. But I told him I wasn’t going to do it again because I’ve moved on. He kept telling me to think about it and I kept telling him there was nothing to actually think about.

He kept calling back but the answer was the same. And then time passed. Close to two years later he called again; “I still think of you and I want you to…”

“Albert, I’m married!” I retorted.

—Serwaa, Ghana

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