This might sound obscene to some people, as i do not intend to hurt anyone feelings but i seriously need help. I dont know if i can continue this or not. But i would be short and straight, and i hope you guys can help me. Please
I married my wife 2 years ago and we were very young. Our parents kind of forced us into it. My dad said i must marry her so that he can cement his friendship and contract with her father. Her own Mum told her she must marry me so that the family business would continue and the name stands since its a joint venture. So, technically, our parents used us both for business! I was only 23 she was just 19 approaching 20. She was 20 the Sunday after our wedding. That is not really the problem here, the problem is I enjoy seeing my wife in pain! It turns me on when she cries or she is sad. It makes me feel closer to her.
And as a result of this, Sometimes i deliberately do things to hurt her feelings. I scold her at every opportunity! I pick a fault in her every action. I complain about everything. I even condemn whatever she does just so she can feel bad and possibly cry. That is my intention. It has become like a drug and i'm an addict. I cannot stay without it.
In fact, sex is not what i want even when we have sex i am aggressive and mean so she can feel excessive pain. It suppose to bother me but it doesn't, it makes me feel happy.
Long story short, I think i am not normal or maybe its a fetish i don;t know but whatever this is, my wife is at the receiving end of it and she is receiving the bad side. Please mature persons, i need your advice. Divorce is impossible, our parents would disown us. so that is why she is still around and i am not surprised she did not file for divorce or report my wicked actions.
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She is just "Swallowing It" because her father might just disown her or cut her off from his expenses. And same applies to me, i am starting to love her and i dont want to keep on hurting her and i was thinking of ending the marriage so she finds someone better but my mum said she must not hear it and i know my dad wont find it funny. So its impossible to separate from each other and its somehow impossible for the pain she is going through to stop because I am the pain, and i want to fix this.
Thank You all.