Posted by Eka Ella
Posted on January 19, 2019
with No comments
As I try to repent of my non blogging ways I will post something a darling Aburo of mine wrote.
And so, on this beautiful rainy Monday morning, all curled up in bed (perks of being a student ?), I decide to reply some messages that came in late last night and early hours today. Then it all happened.
I start chatting with a friend, a very dear friend, and after all the usual pleasantries, she jokingly reminds me of the “ultimatum” she’d given me, which was not to come back home single. You’d be amazed how many people have jokingly and seriously given me that ultimatum. Sometimes I wonder if there’s a bureau de change here where your MSc is converted to Mrs that I do not know of (if there is, abeg send me the details).
Back to the matter, like other times, I thought this would be one of those quick ‘we’re waiting for for you to meet the man and join the married peoples club soon’ tease and then we’d get on to other topics.
But then she pressed on.
First, I was laughing in my mind wondering “it’s funny how people seem to be more worried on your behalf and you’re the one consoling them”.
Then she said the one hit me, and trust me, she isn’t the first. I’ve heard all sorts:
“Lucy, is it that you’re not serious?”
“I know you’re being too choosy” (they “know”)
“Perhaps you don’t want to because you don’t want the stress of being with someone” (like, “seriously????”)
When I hear people say these things, my jaw literally drops. Most times I politely withdraw from the conversation and stay with my thoughts.
But as if that’s not enough, they quickly add:
“What I don’t understand is you’re pretty, you’re caring, you’re friendly, you’re a Christian, bla bla bla…”
And I sit quietly (of course deliberately holding myself back from blurting out rubbish) chanting “they say this because they care” in my head until the conversation is finally over.
So here’s the real reason why I’m sharing this:
First, this is definitely not in anyway to spite my friend or any of my family or friends whom I’ve had this conversation with in the past (or will do in the future, Lol).
Second, when next you feel the need to show your3wq please convert them into private prayers. Unless you’ve walked a mile in a persons shoes, you’ll never really know how they feel, let alone say the most appropriate things.
Thirdly, singleness is not a terminal disease. It’s a beautiful phase to be enjoyed, just like marriage is a beautiful journey to enjoy. Don’t make us feel we’re plagued.
Life is like a box of chocolate with different shapes, sizes and taste but all together yummy.
We don’t have to understand everyone’s journey but we can appreciate it.