I found out very early in life that my penis isn’t normal. I was told by everyone who cared to talk that my dick was small. It didn’t get to me. I didn’t care. After all, I was able to use it the way everyone with a dick used theirs; to urinate.
Then I went to senior high school where we had a shared bathroom. My very first day in that bathroom was so awkward and demeaning, to say the least. That was when, for the first time, I saw different penises on display all at ones; some long and thin, others short and thick and there were the ones that were curved at the shaft.
One senior screamed from the corner of the bath; “Young man, where is your dick?” That drew everyone’s attention to me and started making fun of me. I laughed along but deep down, my confidence was crushed.
Very soon, the legend of my dick spread in the corners of the house and some seniors even came purposely to make me strip down for them to look. I cried at the embarrassment but a man had to survive so I survived senior high school.
I was nineteen years when I completed Senior High but my dick was still thin and was the same size as my little finger when erect. My testicles were almost invisible. We visited hospitals but no improvement was seen.
The first year at the university, I became friends with a girl. Later she became my girlfriend. My first ever girlfriend. We were together for two years and the farthest we could go was just a kiss. I wanted sex but I didn’t want her to see my dick. She wanted it too but she was looking up to me to make the move.
One night, alone in my hostel we started making out. She slid her hand into my trousers, touched it and immediately withdrew her hands. As if she’d been bitten by a snake. All of a sudden she lost energy and finally withdrew from the act. I didn’t ask her any question because I knew what the answer was.
She started withdrawing from me slowly until finally, it was over between us. Her friends started casting some mischievous looks at me anytime we crossed path. She told them about it, I knew.
I had two other ladies who left me without saying anything apart from; “I don’t think it can ever work between us.” It wasn’t my fault that I had a little penis but all the relationship I lost became my fault.
Finally, Adelaide came along when I was doing my National Service. She was a calm girl who didn’t look bothered about my tiny little man in between my thighs. She was ok with what I had although she never wore an expression on her face during sex to indicate I was doing something. That didn’t bother me a lot. She loved me and I did too and that was all that mattered.
And then one night I discovered he was sleeping with one of her colleagues at work. I read their messages. The sad thing was, the guy knew about our relationship and they even had a name for me; “Mr. Okro.” Obviously, they were referring to the size of my thingy.
My heart was shattered. I thought she loved me. I thought she didn’t care about what I had down there. We spoke about it. She was remorseful. She apologized and told me she will never see him again. I believed her. I forgave her but she never stopped seeing him.
He Proposed Marriage But He’s Never Made Me ‘Come’ So I said No
I confronted her many times but she kept seeing him. Until one day she exploded; “You know you’re not enough yet you won’t give me peace of mind. You can leave if you want to. I’m tired of you.”
I left her though it broke my heart.
I’ve never treated any woman badly in my life but they leave because of something that is not my fault. The last time I had a girlfriend was two years ago. She too left and some few months later, she was married.
I’m tired of going through all that over and over again. Now, I’m concentrating on my work and hoping for better days ahead.
—Mensa, Kasoa, G