A couple holding hands.
Phew! 2017 is gone. It is hugely relieving to bid the year goodbye. Many will agree that this was the most turbulent year in our country’s history.
As the year fades away into oblivion, there are things that must equally slither away with it.
No offence intended, but if thus far you haven’t interrogated how many of your 2017 resolutions you attained, please don’t even draft a new list for 2018. First attend to the unfinished business with 2017.
I hear that a new year is like a new tree but with the same monkeys.
Men who borrow money from their girlfriends must stop this unmanly habit. Male chauvinism aside, a man worth the salt in his loins should ooze dough all the time, shouldn’t he?
If you are the broke bloke who can’t afford to meet his own needs, leave alone to sustain his squeeze, celibacy should be your new pants in 2018. It may just do you some good, and save you from the embarrassment.
Then there are those folks, mostly men, who lie about their net worth. Does lying about your fortunes make you any better beyond massaging your ego?
And by the way, does it still stroke a woman’s romantic cords to take her on long-haul trips in a borrowed ride? Monsieur, if you use matatus like the rest of us, please use those with grace.
It doesn’t hurt to be humble. But it is sure costly when your love interest discovers that you are a hopeless city vagabond.
If you are one of those girlfriends who kick up temper tantrums badgering your boyfriend for no godly reason, humanity would fare better without your hopelessly fragile temperament.
If you complain about your beau’s choice of cologne, you find his sense of style dull and think his neighbourhood is not cool, please be kind and look for a Mongolian boyfriend in 2018.
Do you ever go under on your date on the date of your date? Ignore the pun and answer the question. In all honesty, why would you make someone travel all the way from Nakuru to Nairobi only to stand them up?
Whatever reasons you invent for failing your date are flimsy. Be adult enough in 2018.
For slay queens, you have received enough beatings this year. So I will spare you this once. But you can upgrade in 2018. Acquire some sophistication. This way, you will be worth more than the laughing stocks you are.
Have you ever been at a restaurant with your date then another good-for-nothing dude or chick kept glancing your way? With lustful eyes, obviously?
Chick, dude, why can’t you mind the business at your table? It’s an insult to your date to feed your eyes with the delights of other women and juicy men passing by while seated next to your date.
We have done enough politicking in 2017. We have fought, scoffed at another and torn down the fabric of our national unity. In this new year, and as we continue to push for justice for all, please let’s exercise political tolerance, for once.
Despite the bitterness we may harbour inside our hearts, let’s all gather the pieces and rebuild this country. Happy 2018!!