When we were dating, I learned two basic things from my husband; One, he’s not good at telling lies so he rather not talk about the issues that would make him lie. Two, he doesn’t like wearing white briefs. He only wore them to impress me when we were dating.
Somehow, he might have thought that wearing white briefs makes guys appear clean and well kept. I don’t know where he picked that perception from.
http://www.blackmedia.com.ng/2018/07/how-i-became-sisters-with-my-husbands.html?m= Two years after our marriage, he started traveling a lot. He told me he had been reassigned to a new role at the office that required a lot of traveling. So he traveled at least twice in every month and mostly spent weekends wherever he traveled to.
In one of his travels, he returned with two pairs of white briefs which had already been used. That got me triggered because I knew the background of white briefs. Surprisingly, he never wore them around the house. He only packed them whenever he embarked on a trip.
I got the message but I had no proof. I set out to investigate immediately.
You see, I’m not the jealous type. I hardly question his moves or his phone usage at odd hours during the night. He deserved his privacy and I gave him that every day but this time, something made me think he was abusing the privacy.
http://www.blackmedia.com.ng/2018/07/how-i-became-sisters-with-my-husbands.html?m= After several failed attempts, one day I hit the jackpot. I sat next to him while he was tapping his password and I immediately picked the combinations. It was his birth date. Easy.
Any time he went to bed, I would go through his phone, picking messages from Whatsapp, Messenger, SMS and even from his Twitter inbox. After a week or so, I couldn’t get anything. It stretched to a month without any information. I thought of giving up but my intuition wouldn’t let me rest. It kept pricking me to search for more.
And then I found gold. Such a cheat! He wasn’t chatting the girl through any of the message apps. He was chatting with her through emails. I got to know the lady’s name, Abena, and where she worked. I went through all the attached files and the things I saw broke my heart.
Nudes! He sends nudes to the girl and the girl sends some back. Intimate ones. Ones that have been taken from the deepest parts of the flesh. I cried. I couldn’t sleep all night. The next morning, I had red and swollen eyes. He asked me about it and I lied.
I sent Abena a Facebook friend’s request on my way to work and by the time I got to work, she had accepted. Some minutes later, I sent her a message telling her how delighted I was to be friends with her and how I looked forward to engaging with her more.
A month later, we became good friends on Facebook and even decided to meet for a drink-up which she called off at the eleventh hour. All along, I kept following her conversation with my husband and one thing was very clear; she didn’t know he was married. He kept promising her marriage and telling her sweet crazy things that got me annoyed.
Finally, I met Abena. I didn’t want to go around the issue so I laid the facts bare; “You see, I know you are going out with Kojo and I have news for you.”
Her posture changed immediately and the look on her face turned from smiles to surprise and to quizzical look at me and back to surprise again. “How did you know about him? He sent you to me?” She asked. I answered, “No he didn’t send me to you. I got to know about you through the emails you’ve been exchanging.”
Again, her face flushed with surprise. “Are you the girlfriend?” She asked. I picked my rings from my side bag and placed it on the table. “I’m not the girlfriend, I’m the wife.” She started feeling uneasy and started struggling for words to say. “But Kojo didn’t tell me he was married. Please understand me, I never knew he was married. He never told me.”
She was getting restless and scared at the same time. I needed to calm her down, “I know everything. Don’t explain yourself to me. I’ve read every message and I know what he had told you and what he hasn’t. I’m only here to tell you the truth so you can decide for yourself what to do.”
She broke down and started crying. She was in too much pain. What I didn’t know was whether she was pained to know that her sweet Kojo had a wife or she was pained to have been caught by the wife. After sobbing for some minutes, she got up, thanked me and said: “I know what to do.”
For the next several days we kept talking about what to do next and how to do what we’ve planned to do. She Kept sending me screenshots of her conversations with my husband. As usual, my husband kept lying to her. He kept promising her marriage and promised her yet again that he was taking her to meet his parent at the next visit. I was pained but I had to keep my composure through it all.
m So one early Saturday morning, Kojo started doing his mini packing for a trip. He told me a colleague died and since the journey was long, they’ll sleep over and come the next day. Yet again, he packed those white briefs.
Some minutes after he left the house, I followed up.
Some few hours later, Abena sent me a message; “He’s here.” I responded; “I’m almost there too.”
Seriously I didn’t know what I was doing. So many questions kept flooding my mind as I was on my way to catch a cheating husband. The question was, “So after catching him, what next?” One thing was clear, I wasn’t going to divorce him. I knew that for sure. But if I wasn’t going to divorce him then why would I go through all this just to catch him?
The answer to that question never came but something felt very right about everything that I was doing.
I got to Abena’s place and just entered…
There he was, lying on the bed in his shiny white briefs. He jumped off the bed immediately after he saw me and screamed, “What are you doing here?”
http://www.blackmedia.com.ng/2018/07/how-i-became-sisters-with-my-husbands.html?m= He started looking around for his trousers and all the while repeating “Ow shit.” I looked on as he made a fool out of himself. Abena stood at the doorway with arms crossed as if to prevent him from running out of the door. We both watched quietly as he went on giving us a show.
He knelt down and started apologizing to me; “please please please, it won’t happen again. I’m sorry.” Abena interrupted; “Don’t you think I deserve some apology too.” But he wouldn’t even look at her but kept apologizing to me. Somehow he felt it was Abena who set him up and as such deserves no apology.
I turned to Abena and said sorry to her. I hugged her and walked out of the door. He ran after me with his shirt in his hands like a baby running after his runaway mother and all the while repeating his apologies. I still didn’t say a word back. He turned back, apparently to pick what he had left in Abena’s room as I walked towards the station to pick a car home.
I left my matrimonial home to live with my parents, still not knowing what next to do. He came around every day to say sorry and ask my parents to add their voices to his apologies. My parents, especially my mom was so convinced that he was a changed man so I should reconsider my decision and go back home.
http://www.blackmedia.com.ng/2018/07/how-i-became-sisters-with-my-husbands.html?m= I wanted to go back home since I didn’t know what to make out of the whole incident. I wasn’t angry I was only confused but I knew as time went on, my confusion would wane off and be happy again as Kojo’s wife.
Then one morning, three weeks after the incident Abena sent me a message; “I just found out that I’m pregnant, don’t tell him, I would be fine.”
It was as if I’ve been struck by lightning. Something went off in my head and all of a sudden I couldn’t keep my balance. “What!” I screamed out loud. Everything hurt me less but not the pregnancy. “What!”
I went to my mother and told her; “I know what to do now. I’m not going back again. My life would be better without him.” I gave her the pregnancy news. She reported same to my Dad and they both agreed that I should rethink my decision and make a final decision and they’ll back me.
http://www.blackmedia.com.ng/2018/07/how-i-became-sisters-with-my-husbands.html?m= I called Abena. There was no life in her voice; Dull. Contemplative. Confused. I asked her; “Have you thought of what to do next about the pregnancy?” She answered; “I haven’t thought about anything yet but I’m calm about it and I know everything would work out in the end.”
She asked me, “Have you guys been able to settle your issues.” I responded, “Yeah, everything is settled. I’m leaving him tomorrow.”
http://www.blackmedia.com.ng/2018/07/how-i-became-sisters-with-my-husbands.html?m=1 The next day, Abena told him about the pregnancy in a threatening manner. A few hours later, I called him to tell him I’ve decided not to get back into his life again.
I’ve always been told men are strong but after speaking to Kojo that day, I changed my perception about the strength of a man. The news broke him down like a pack of cards. He started crying and begging me not to hurt him. He promised to make life better and was talking about how he’s learned his lessons and how he had become a better man. But I knew it was over.
http://www.blackmedia.com.ng/2018/07/how-i-became-sisters-with-my-husbands.html?m= I left him and found a sister in Abena. Somehow, Abena decided not to have the child. She told me, “The complications surrounding the stories of the baby would be difficult for me to tell if someday the baby grew up and asked to know why he/she is fatherless.” I understood her.
I’m happy sharing this story today and Abena is happy too. I know she’s happy because she’s my sister now.