I practically beg for s3x and he denies me. When I ask why he gives some excuse about not being in the mood etc. But then I find that he's been watching porn & masturbating. I'm all for masturbation but it repulses me and makes me so insecure to discover that my husband rather masturbate to p0rn than have s3x with me.
It bothers me further that he is also doing it at work. My gut is telling me that he is masturbating at work because someone there arouses him so instead of walking around with a boner he goes into the bathroom & masturbates. These thoughts infest my brain like tiny maggot bugs. I can't take it.
Why doesn't he want me Why do I have to beg for sex?? It's been MONTHS! On top of that he won't allow me to have toys or please myself. He gets mad! Honestly I think it's insulting that I have to please myself... So I think about cheating now! ALL THE TIME! I want to hurt his feelings & make him feel rejected & unwanted like he is making me feel.
I want to have amazing sex with someone else & have him find out so I can show him that somebody else wants me. I want him to feel my pain. I want him to be disgusted with himself for sexually starving me & neglecting me. I want him to feel this pain. If I could Bleep somebody in front of him I would. I would show him how one man's trash is another man's treasure.
I want him to regret ever making me feel like this. A part of me resents him so much. The other day he broke his neck to stare down this rather attractive female in front of me. It hurt my feelings. Even the women in the porn look nothing like me.. It hurts So yea...
READ: I PREFER VIBR@TOR TO REAL D!CKS
I'm to a point where I just want to hurt him back & feel good at the same time. I want a huge rooster that belongs to somebody else in me.