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"There is nothing I can do apart from dying that will satisfy her..."

For the umpteenth time she called me to make peace between her and her husband.

These two.

Passionately in love and in hate.

Two faces of the same coin.

Destined to be together as much as to be apart.

Accusations, dissatisfactions, condemnations and protestations.

To make up to break up and break up to make up.

While never leaving the confines of their marital home and the shared responsibilities of their three children.

Two teens and a seven-years old.

I managed to quiet them down.

And I spoke to the husband separately.

He looked at me with tears in his eyes.

His pain was deep.

Then he said.

"Jude, I hear you, but you cannot understand."

"What can't I understand?"

He sighed.

Then spoke.

"There is something that happens to a guy when he gets married or he makes a lot of money that hinges on the kind of woman he has in his life."

"What happens?"

"If she supports him without making him feel that she has abandoned her own life to support him, if she celebrates him by focusing mostly on the good in him without making him feel that he no longer has a right to welcoming celebration from others, if she accepts him and makes no attempt to change him into who she wants him to be without making him feel that what she has done is unnatural and actually a favour she is doing him, he becomes an even better man, lover and husband because he sees her first and foremost as his best friend, fan, confidante and lover but if she makes him feel that he is never good enough for anything and that she is giving up a better life or passing on better opportunities in order to stay with him, then he will see her as his enemy and in the course of time will lash out in anyway possible to simply survive."

His voice was choked with unshed tears.

And he was gripping his right knee so tightly it looked as though he was going to rip his kneecap out.

He spoke through gritted teeth.

"There is nothing I can do apart from dying that will satisfy her..."

Her voice rushed out from the kitchen where she was cooking and listening to us offhandedly.

"Please die and let me start a new life with a man that truly loves me and can provide for me and our children. You are there opening your stinking mouth saying that I want you to die. You don't know that being with you in this marriage is worse than death. Abeg die and let me see road. This life I am living with you there is no difference between it and that of a widow whose husband died and left her penniless with hatred in her heart over the uselessness of his wasted life. ............. have courage for once in your life and do something good. Die!!!"



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