I know your readers would be wondering; “What the hell is this lady talking about?” So let’s start from the beginning. It’s better that way.
You see, I kept my virginity after dating two different guys. Not because virginity meant something great to me, no. I was twenty-six and still a virgin after my second breakup and I felt at twenty-six, I was closer to getting married so why don’t I rather keep it till I got married. I was then with Emma and I was determined not to allow him to break me though he tried it in so many ways.
I was good with one thing; “blowjob,” and that was enough to get me through when things got messy. Elorm thought me how to do it. I was young, (seventeen, I think) and naive but I made it clear to him that I wasn’t going to have sex until marriage. He was older and knew how such things work so he always made me do a hand job for him and later took me through the blow job. It wasn’t an easy thing from the beginning but it kept me safe from sex.
At first, he thought it was a joke. He didn’t believe a twenty-eight years girl could be a virgin. But I assured him, “Better believe it. You’ll be the first and the last to use it.” He felt lucky. It was as though he was the man chosen to bless and inaugurate my private parts.
As time and tide would have it, we finally met face to face for the first time. His hugs were tight and pure. My doubts were erased completely after the hug. He was touchy and all over me from the word go and I liked it that way.
That night, our first night together felt like something I’ve never experienced in all my dating life. I was a girl possessed. I felt I had to show him what I got. It was like I needed to prove something to him. I forgot who I was and dived in too deep. I was brought back to my senses when he asked: “You are sure you haven’t done this before?”
That caught me off guard. I knew the implications of such a question. Even words eluded me. I only nodded and said, “I know about this but I haven’t had sex as in sex before.” He nodded but the look on his face was that of mistrust, judgement and confusion. He wanted sex later on. I said no and told him we were not married.
He tried to have his way but I was stronger. It was a beautiful night gone bad. In the morning he asked me, “Are you pretending to be a virgin to get me to marry you?” The question hurt my pride so much I didn’t want to answer. He kept repeating and repeating so I ask him, “can I go home?” He said, “Just answer me.”
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I got up, dressed up and when I was about leaving I told him, “We just met, but you are judging me.” I was disappointed in myself. I gave too much too early. I hardly do that.
That evening he called to apologize. We made up and got along just fine but I didn’t indulge with him again until he travelled back to the US. Nine months later he was back again. We got married and now live together.
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